Do I know you—do you know me?
Mr. West, can I have a moment of your time? Can I ask you something? Will you look at me? No, really look at me. Do you see a “guy”? Do you see your typical everyday ordinary American? I’ll give you a minute to think that over.
In the meantime, let me get this straight—
So, when you put on a “Make America Great Again” ball cap, it makes you feel like me, correct? That’s right? So, I understand you correctly? Now, next question, do you know me? Or, do you understand you correctly? Because what you’re saying is, when you put on a “Make America Great Again” ball cap, it makes you feel like an alien. Because, you know, I’m an alien.
Another quick moment of your time—
Now, with the above in mind and with some time to have mulled it over, ask yourself, “Should I, can I, with all honestly compare myself with him?” Now be honest, and make sure your answer comes from the heart. Remember, I’m an alien. Did you not know that? Or is it that you’re thinking of someone else? Perhaps, when you put on the “Make America Great Again” ball cap, you feel like Batman.
This is kind of like the image my mind makes from your words, Mr. West.
You may be thinking of Batman—
What you seem to be saying and the thoughts you’re sharing sound lightyears away from me and fall right in Batman’s backyard. (No offense, Bruce.) I’m trying to help you understand, Mr. West—I think of Batman as an unknown distant relation, much like humans think of the missing link or some other shadowy early hominid. (Again, no offense, Bruce, I’m trying to make a point.) There’s no shame in getting confused. Batman often gets confused. In fact, he often confuses me with a member of your family. Your wife. In all fairness to Batman, Clark Kent hasn’t been my only secret identity through the years.
About being more like me—
Back on course. The ball cap has the word America on it. Yes, I know that one of my sayings also features America in a way, “the American way.” But what’s the entire saying, Mr. West? I’ll tell you—it’s, “Truth, Justice and the American Way.” Yes, my thoughts and feelings efficiently summed up in a phrase could indeed fit on a ball cap that features the word America, but my feelings start with “Truth.” Capital T Truth, Mr. West. You’re going to have to start there, with the Truth, saying something I can believe, if not believe in, if you want to be compared to me. By me.
“If you want the world to move forward, try love.”—
Maybe you do have a larger than normal-sized heart, but just because it’s bigger than your brain doesn’t mean you should let it do all the thinking for you. I mean, OK, I can word that better. It’s like that question I overheard someone ask a pastor, “Why should I bother being good or doing the right thing when Jesus died for my sins?” And the pastor answered, “You’ll do the right and good thing because he died for our sins and you love Him.” So, even though your heart is big enough to do all the thinking, it loves your brain too much to see it sit idly by, wracked with despair over what’s become of it, so you’ll give it some hard topics and tasks to tackle. Is that better? Well. I’ll get Batman’s woefully under-used PR firm to smooth out the edges.
Batman’s PR firm’s statement on behalf of Superman—
Superman, aka Clark Kent, aka Vicki Sue Robinson* would like to express his heartfelt apologies to any person or culture—real or imagined—from any time period whom he may have hurt or distressed by the above statements and questions. We would like to remind the American people that as an alien, he cannot vote or do any official political damage beyond being an alien with breath-taking strength, speed, and comportment.
*Furthermore, all apologies to the Vicki Sue Robinson estate for any confusion.
